MY MOTHER'S STRENGTH

MY MUMS DEATH WAS MY REBIRTH.

A Journey of Transformation for the Daughter She Left Behind.

Life as we know it, is truly unpredictable and full of mysterious experiences that most of us can't explain. Can you believe that each and everything that happens in someone's life is for a reason and it is bound to happen with each thread contributing to the vibrant and complex pattern that defines who we are? Among these threads, the loss of a loved one is one of the most profound and life-altering experiences a person can endure and like I always say death is the real equalizer for all of us because clearly it's the only thing that brings us to our knees the same way. For me, the death of my mother has been the realest pain that I have ever felt but despite that, it was not only just a loss but a rebirth for me as well, a transformation that reshaped the very core of my being and in this narrative, I will share my deeply personal journey through grief and healing, highlighting how my mum's passing became the catalyst for a totally life-changing experience that has made the woman I am today.

1. The Unbearable Loss.

The day my mother passed away is a day that will forever be engraved into my memory 19th of Dec 2022 will forever be a date to remember for me and my family. I don't think our Decembers will ever be the same again. I have always replayed that phone call from my sister in my head and up to now I can vividly recall every single moment that happened after that call. It felt like a piece of my heart had been ripped away, leaving a void that seemed impossible to fill. to be frank, I thought I was dreaming, I did not utter a word nor cry, I just sat on my bed staring into space hoping it would all just go away. Even though I knew she was extremely sick the news of her demise came with a pain that was so overwhelming, and the pain was unbearable that I wished to be dreaming but unfortunately, it was true she was really gone, As I sat down there overwhelmed by grief little did I know that this was just the beginning of a profound transformation in my life.

2. Navigating the Storm.

In the initial months of 2023 after my mother's death, I was adrift in a sea of emotions, from anger to sadness, to guilt, and confusion both ripped my heart apart in turn I was a total mess. Every day was a struggle; it felt like the world had lost its colour. A lot of whys were still lingering in my head, the fact that my mum had died such a painful death only made it all worse. But amidst this storm of emotions, I began to realize the importance of self-reflection. I decided to dwell on my memories with my mother more than the pain of losing her, cherishing the moments we had shared and the lessons she had imparted to me. These reflections started to illuminate a path towards my own growth and self-discovery of what she would really want me to be.

3. Embracing Change.

As time passed, I began to see that my mother's passing had given me a unique opportunity to reassess my life completely, even though she was no longer with me still felt I should be living like she wanted me to. and I started thinking of ways to appease her memory? I found myself questioning the choices I had made and the path I had been following simply because I started to recognize that life is fleeting, short and precious and all we can do is love it and live it in the right way and the fullest, I knew I needed to make the most of it because you just don't know when everything stops and you have to go. This realization became the catalyst for a lot of significant changes in my life.

Pursuing My Dreams

One of the most significant transformations that took place was in my general life as a person mentally spiritually as well as physically. I had always harboured so many dreams and aspirations that I had put on hold for various reasons because I always thought why not do it later. My mother's death taught me that life was too short to postpone my dreams any longer. I mean I literally saw her life evaporate out of her in front of my eyes and I wasn't going to take any chances with that. With my newfound determination, I took bold steps to pursue my passions and build the life I had always envisioned, maximize life to the fullest and give love and life to whatever needs it.

5. Strengthening Relationships.

Grief has a way of revealing the true colours of people and relationships around you. I know that so many relationships crumbled under the weight of my grief, but others grew stronger and more meaningful. My love and gratitude go out to all my friends and family who stood with us through it all, In that grief I still managed to forge deeper connections with those who stood by me during my darkest hours friendships that I cherish to date.

6. Self-Discovery and Healing.

Amid grief and transformation, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing and I must say what a roller coaster it has been, healing is the hardest part of grief and my advice is to take as much time as you need. Be easy on yourself and seek therapy and counselling to help you navigate the complex emotions you might experience. Through the healing process, I learned to embrace vulnerability, acknowledge my pain, teach myself how to understand and accept death as well as allow myself to heal and accept the fact that she is no longer here and how to live with that fact.

7. Paying Tribute to My Mother.

Honouring my mother's memory is something that comes naturally without question. she was a great woman with a great life and her name Wakasa and her legacy must and will forever live in many generations to come, Everything she was ever passionate about and everything she did will forever be honoured and remembered. I will be writing a book about her life journey as well as dedicating a movie about her life and the fight with Alzheimer's disease. Giving back to the community is what made her happy and making a positive impact in her name will surely become a source of solace and purpose for me.

The death of my mother was undoubtedly one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it was also the catalyst for a profound transformation of my whole life Through grief and healing, I found the strength to pursue my dreams, strengthen my relationships, and discover my true self. In a way, my mum's death became my rebirth, a total life-changing experience that reshaped my outlook on life and helped me become the person I am today. Though I will forever carry the pain of her loss, I also carry the lessons and love she imparted, which continue to guide me on this extraordinary journey called life and as I become a mother myself may her values be born in me towards my child.

Rest on mama you memories are deeply cherished.